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Foamy Fan Mail VI
Publishers Summary More Mail From The Masses! Script : Foamy : welcome one and all to the new set of *dun dun dun dun dun dun duuuuuunnn!* Foamy fan mail! Yeah thats right the entre set’s been updated. We got new computers,we got new shit on the wall, and a cap-o-chino machine! Ah shits the best. Yeah it set us back a bit, but dammit!when im up all night answering fuckin emails. I need my caffeine! Alright so instead of givin you a fuckin tour, lets get straight to the emails!. This one ive been holdin onto for quite some time. : Dear foamy : Ive been on the fatkins diet for 3 years, and I have no problems. And I like the diet, and I don’t think the comments you made in the fatkins cartoon was true…blah blah blah you get the basic idea. Another freaky motherfucker from the fuckin fatkins quoir. : It’s people like this you cannot reason with, because no matter what you say they still think your wrong. So, heres my response : Dear carb-counting jerk-off : Since your brain has been deprived of carbs for so long, there’s no way to reason with you, because the logic section of your brain has been rotted away! If you don’t like my comments on the fatkins diet, go cry in a bowl of meat, and leave me the fuck alone! Just remember when your 35-40 years old and you’re clutching your chest, from a heart attack, trying to dial 911, remember the words of foamy! As you pass out onto the floor, and regurgitate 5 pounds of meat that was stuck in your fuckin colon. You fat bastard : p.s stop trying to champion a dead mans diet. Nobody gives two shits about your fatkins propaganda, keep that fuckin mindless information to yourself. You fuckin mindless zombie piece of shit. Choke on some bacon and die! Im gonna go eat some twinkies, and enjoy them, without havin to hear some fuckin carb counting rederick, shouting in my ear by some moron who dosent have the self esteem to be themselves. Go fuck yourself and die TWICE! : Signed : Your carb eating friend : Foamy : Ok! Now that these carb assholes are outta the way again, im gonna go have a twinkie now! TWINKIES FOR ALL! Next letter! : Dear foamy : Do you think you will ever get a new foamy fan mail set? : heheh…well : Dear foamy : Why don’t you have a girlfriend? : Oh jeez here we go : Dear hopeless romantic : I don’t have a girlfriend because i don’t need to validate my existence through the existence of somebody else. Having a girlfriend does not make you a better person, nor does it prove to the rest of your friends that you’re cool., Im personally 100% confident in my own personality, to be able to live a viable existence without having to have a fuckin leech clinging to my wallet! The rest of humanity would do well to follow the example of foamy! Stop getting into superficial relationship bullshit. Most of the individuals misery usually comes from a significant other, a bad relationship,a bad marriage, or some bullshit like that. How about getting to know yourself, and living life? See! Supreme logic from the supreme being! meha! : Dear foamy : I’m a writer and I would like to write a cartoon : Dear aspiring writer : I do not need someone who dosent know me, and dosent know my character, putting words into my mouth. I don’t need to be sitting around memorizing lines, and. You know, talking and shit like that .Most of this is unscripted anyway, so your work has no use here..That’s right I said unscripted, like this! : Whoa!!! Doin some actions that are not scripted. Makin it up as I go along! : you see? Improv! Dosent anyone do improv any more? Anyway in short, I don’t want your scripts. If you wanna be a creative writer, and make up stories, go work for the new york times. : Thank you for watching, : Your unscripted lord and master : Foamy : And until next time, my minions, my friends! This is foamy, signing off! End screen appears. External Links *Illwillpress website